This morning on the television it started. The Fourth
of July is almost upon us, and the anti-meat eaters
want to spoil all the backyard fun with their gruesome
stories of cancer and a myriad of diseases they try
to link to animal protein.
I say lets BBQ some vegetarians for the Independence
Day celebration.
One of the pitches these yokels were trying to sell
was a veggie riblet. I can't even imagine what hallucinogens
you would have to be taking to think that a pressed veggie
riblet would be better than a slab of baby back ribs just
pulled from the grill.
Or that one of those disgustingly dry Boca Burgers is
really a substitute for a medium rare slider complete
with lettuce, tomato, onions, and pickles.
(Ketchup and mustard optional)
And I don't want chickpea salad substituting for old
fashioned German potato salad with bacon.
It just isn't right.
And why would anyone listen to somebody like
Pamela Anderson, who while she doesn't eat meat,
allows herself to be a guinea pig for chemical
enhancement. There must be something in her diet, (
I think it's the eggplant), that keeps her from
generating new brain cells, and coming back to
Tommy Lee.
There's a Puerto Rican joint not that far from where
I live that roasts whole hogs. If I get just one request
before I pass on it will be one more stop for the big
pig platter there. It might be too late, but maybe I can
have them cater my Independence Day Backyard Blowout.
The menu will be simple.
Bring meat.
Lots of it.
And some cold beverages.
I'll be the grillmaster.
(You'll know it's me because I'll be the one wearing the fur coat.)
From the big saddle,
Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board
P.S. I know a lot of people are taking a long
weekend, so be careful out there, and please
don't drink and drive. Eat plenty of meat,
and thank God you live in the greatest country
in the world.
thejamesrwhelanagency.com
206 407 3124
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